zachary raiden

[catsy44]

Real name: Zachary Martinez

Ring name: Zachary Raiden

Age:20

height: 5'11"

Train by: frank E flo, Monroe, Matt walker, JC pullins, danoose

Nickname: Springheel Jack

Federation: TVW, KAPOW, RCWE, CCE,

Personality: Homo Sexual

Hometown: Hollywood, California

Billed from: United states

Theme song: cult to follow- Leave it all behind

Disposition: the crowd loves him!

Wrestling style: kicks and elbows (high flyer)

Moves: rapid kicks, snap ddt, clothesline

Finishers: jumping complete shot, diving elbow

Signatures: air pillman, lionsault

Bio: Zachary Raiden is a great rising superstar that has worked with some of the best! people like Brent Delivine, JC Pullins, and Rebellion (screech and danoose). even tho he was train by a lot of superstars he dose not like to stop, being in this gym is a great opportunity for me. I will not stop, If i am doing something wrong i will work to get better. i have great potential for caw wrestling. i might be in RCWE, KAPOW, and even CCE but, i would like to be apart of PWR. i am the talent you are looking for.

Attachments:

[J.P Masters]

was great to play you, you have t basics that we can work on

welcome to the gym

[catsy44]

awesome thanks

[Hana Brightly]

I'm starting to see a theme here.

It doesn't matter who your character has worked with in a biography, as you already listed his trainers outside of it. You don't need to repeat that, as it doesn't actually tell us anything about your character and it doesn't make your character sound as impressive as you might think it does. It tells us you have experience and while that is appreciated it doesn't actually tell us about your character, which is what a profile is supposed to accomplish.

"Homosexuality" isn't a personality trait, it's a sexual orientation. Telling us he's a homosexual doesn't actually describe his personality. It's like if I put "heterosexual" as a personality trait. What does that tell you other than they prefer the opposite sex? Nothing. So you need to expand more on his personality.

His biography also needs to be expanded, as it doesn't tell us anything about your character's history other than he's a "rising star," has worked with multiple talents and is in few leagues, all of which fail to actually tell us who Zachary Raiden is. I'll simply ask a question, "Who is Zachary Raiden?" Please answer in the form of a biography, and please don't just list who he's worked with and the leagues he's been a member of, go more in depth, and describe events which shaped who he is today. You can make it up, it's okay, all these characters are fictional to begin with.

[catsy44]

ok

[Hana Brightly]

If it helps, you can go in depth on what your trainers each taught you. Like, what did they contribute to shaping your character's skills? It tells us more than just listing and leaving us to assume what hardships your character might have been gone through. What did your character learn from competing and training with the people you listed?